3 INSIGHTS INTO WHAT TEENAGE GIRLS WANT MOST FRom THEIR MUMS!
having WORKED WITH OVER 400 TEENAGE GIRLS ACROSS AUSTRALIA. From this, I'VE COME TO DISCOVER SOME COMMON THINGS THAT teenage GIRLS really WANT from their mums.
1. PRAISED ON EFFORT NOT OUTCOME!
Teenage girls feel pressured to be the best they can be, so they can be the type of daughter that their mums would be proud of. Teenage girls feel that their worth and being successful comes from OUTCOMES rather than the EFFORT they put into school work, extra curriculum activities and social situations. Teenage girls get worried that they will let their parents down if they don’t do well in a maths test, even though they may have tried REALLY hard! By praising your teenage daughter for the EFFORT she puts into her work, this will help her realise that being successful is based on the journey, and not the destination.
2. MUMS TO MODEL VULNERABILITY AROUND THEM
Teenage girls don’t want their mums to worry if there is something wrong with them. This leads to teenage girls putting on a mask and they pretend that everything is okay. The reality is, is that they may not understand/ been modelled that it’s okay to ‘not have your life sorted’ and it’s normal to have breakdowns. SHARE with your teenage daughter when you have tough days and why, because it will make her feel safe enough to open up to you and share what she is really dealing with.
3. GIVE THEM SPACE TO FAIL AND GROW!
When mums control what their teenage daughters are doing - even though this is coming from the most loving place as a mother - teenage girls get the message that you don’t trust them. Because of that, it will make them more frustrated and unfortunately want to lie to you because you won’t give them space. There is a healthy balance between space and boundaries, and discovering what this looks like first comes from giving your teenage daughter the space to go out, explore and make her own decisions (even though you may not necessarily agree with it!). She’s at a stage in her life where her friends are her lifeline, and ultimately is the one source of connection. When you don’t give her that space to hang out with her friends - it is literally the WORST thing a teenage girl can experience!
This can be scary as a mum, but you need to let go and trust your teenage daughter. When your daughter feels your trust - she is more likely to come to you when she has any issues!
Still feeling a bit overwhelmed on how to do this?
Flourish: a girl to woman mother daughter retreat is for you!
FLOURISH: A Girl to Woman Mother Daughter Retreat is a 3 day transformational program that will focus on empowering your daughter to transition from girl to becoming an unstoppable woman, and will help empower you as their mother be able to let go, trust and transition into the role of ‘wisdom giver’ and nurturer. This program will give you and your daughter the tools you need together to create a relationship of deeper connection and communication. You and your daughter will leave this program reaffirming the strong love you have for each other. You as a mother, will get to see your daughter increase in confidence and self esteem. This program will be the catalyst to experience an adult to adult relationship you’ve always wanted with your daughter.
IN VICTORIA: FEBRUARY 2019 (DATES TO BE CONFIRMED)